


It's not perfect, but it's ours

by madhatt



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Skids, Asexuality, Fluff, M/M, and a very sexual Swerve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-16
Updated: 2015-03-16
Packaged: 2018-03-18 02:19:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3552356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madhatt/pseuds/madhatt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Skids is lost and Swerve is alone. Maybe they are not a perfect match, but they somehow make it work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's not perfect, but it's ours

**Author's Note:**

> I love this pairing, I'm very emotional about both Skids and Swerve. I also tend to see my own shortcomings reflected in them. This fic is a result of that.

It was like the Summer of Love. Swerve read about it on one of the datapads he had borrowed from Rodimus. He found it interesting and quite exciting, and so ended up reading it numerous times. Now he saw it happening, not only on Cybertron or Lost Light or even Vis Vitalis – it was happening to all Cybertronians alive. After millennia of ruthless battles, without any mercy or honour, that only resulted in spilled energon, endless pain and unbeatable despair, those who survived all the atrocities of war wanted to celebrate. Anyone who could, partook in never-ending, joyful get-togethers, drinking gallons of flowing engex and, most of all, enthusiastic interfacing.

Normally Swerve, like any other healthy Cybertronian, would be absolutely ecstatic about it. Who didn't want to party, drink and frag? Well, Swerve knew maybe three or four bots like that. And he was one of them. Or maybe not exactly – he sure wanted to do all these things, he just couldn't. He thought about it bitterly whenever he stood behind the bar, a fake smile on his face and streams of meaningless words leaving his mouth. He looked at the people surrounding him – all of them happy and ready to celebrate – and desperately wished he didn't feel so lonely. He wished there was someone, anyone, willing to share this post-war joy with him. But there wasn't.

Objectively, he knew he wasn't what most bots would call handsome, or even 'attractive to some'. So he didn't really expect bots to suddenly start lining up in front of him, ready to take him to their berths. Actually, he had given up the hope he could ever be in a relationship long ago. But still, he would be happy to have one friend that found him important; who cared about him and always made sure he was alright. Who wanted to party and drink with him. Nothing more. But all of his friends, every single one of them, had some other bot, who was countless times more important than Swerve. Tailgate had his Cyclonus that was his everything; Chromedome was not only Rewind's lover, he was also his best friend; even Skids, who for a moment there seemed to be the remedy to all of Swerve's problems, finally found his Getaway.

For all of them Swerve was just a good friend they liked to spend time with, but kept forgetting about when he wasn't there to remind them about himself. It hurt to know that. Especially when it came to Skids, who Swerve...

“Skids has been gone for maybe two cycles and you already look so lost,”slurred Getaway, interrupting Swerve's thoughts. He was slouching in the seat in front of him.

“I'm surprised you can even see me with how much you've had to drink,” answered Swerve. Then, as he noticed the other's dimmed optics, added, „Seriously, I'm not giving you any more, so don't even look at me like that.” But at the same time he had to admit, Getaway was quite right – without Skids here, it was even worse.

Or maybe not. At least he didn't have to look at his best friend and pretend he didn't think about him every time he self-serviced.

 

Skids couldn't stop himself from thinking about Swerve. He wondered what the other bot was doing right now. Probably standing behind the bar and trying to pretend he was having fun, he thought bitterly. Skids not only wasn't stupid, he was also much better friend that he was given credit for – he noticed the desperate fight inside Swerve's processor; he knew how bad Swerve was trying to pretend he was right where he wanted to be, doing what he enjoyed and sharing the experience with his friends. In reality, it was quite the opposite. Thought he had wanted on Lost Light, dreamed of his own bar and spoken of everyone as his friends, the experience proved to be different from what he had imagined it to be. It left the poor bot miserable. Skids saw the signs and wanted so much to be able to change that.

He couldn't do it from the seat in Rung's office, though, and that's exactly where he was at the moment.

So he tried to forget about Swerve for now and instead focus on the friend in front of him. In all honesty, Rung was possibly the most relaxing bot to look at. He emanated the air of easy acceptance and endless patience that not many, if anyone, was resistant to. Skids was no exception. After many visits to Rung's office as his patient, and also all the evenings they spent together sharing drinks at Swerve's bar, he still felt a weird, but definitely welcome, feeling of calmness overcome him after but a single glance at the psychiatrist.

“You are strangely quiet today,” said Rung, a small, understanding smile gracing his lip plates. It was Rung's specialty – every patient of his could count on the doctor to give them a smile, especially for them. “Usually when you don't want to tell me something, you try to keep me busy with stories of Rodimus' latest ideas.”

Skids laughed. “You know me that well, don't you?” he asked. „But you are wrong this time, I wasn't trying to hide anything.” Skids stretched his arms and leaned back in his chair. “I was actually thinking about _you,_ my dear friend.”

Rung rewarded him with one of his rare, honest, a little shy smiles. “About me?”

“Yes. I like thinking about you.” Skids smiled challengingly.

The psychiatrist immediately recognized the game and joined in. “Oh?” He raised an eyebrow. “It was my understanding you liked to think of someone else best.”

“Always the professional, trying to make me spill my darkest secrets, aren't you?”

“It is my job, yes.” Rung leaned back in his chair and stretched his lanky limbs. “Though it's not really 'spilling secrets' when I already know what I need to know.” He smirked. A rare expression to see on Rung's face and Skids was sure he was the only patient the psychiatrist let himself relax around to this extent. “You should simply tell Swerve how you feel,” Rung added after a while, a little more subdued, his eyes full of caring worry.

“Are you telling me this as my doctor or my friend?” asked Skids, grinning at Rung.

“Hmm... Can it be both?”

Skids laughed out loud at that. „You are impossible,” he said finally. „I can't believe all of them actually think you are this nice, boring bot. You are a devil, Rung.”

„Maybe I am, but that's not what we are talking about today.” Rung straightened his backstrut, back to his psychiatrist mode. „You came here, because you wanted to seek my professional advice.”

Skids sighed. „Yes.”

 

Swerve sighed and bent down to pick up another empty glass. This one at least wasn't broken, as so many others. It was always like this, when he finally closed the door to his bar behind the last guests – tables and chairs were knocked over, glasses broken, engex spilled everywhere. It was a sad duty, cleaning up after overcharged bots, but the duty Swerve usually enjoyed to some extent. Because usually Skids was there to keep him company. Sometimes they simply talked as they cleaned up together, sometimes Skids was too overcharged to do anything but stare at Swerve with a silly grin on his face. But he was there most times, waiting for Swerve to finish his work and go back together to their shared hab suite. He wasn't with Swerve this time.

The minibot vaguely recalled Skids mentioning something about an appointment with Rung. Swerve liked the psychiatrist a lot, but he was pretty sure he wasn't supposed to work at this hour and so couldn't stop a pang of jealousy from piercing his spark. It was his time with Skids, the other bot should be here, keeping Swerve company.

He knew he shouldn't think like this, Skids wasn't his, he could do whatever he wanted, with whomever he wanted. But still he couldn't help but wish Skids would be only his to love and no one else's.

 

Skids waited for Rung to react. The other bot was sitting silently, watching his friend, or rather his patient, clearly deep in thought. Finally he decided to speak.

“So you don't feel any attraction towards anyone. And you don't know if it's something you were born with or the result of your amnesia?” he asked.

Skids nodded.

“Does it bother you?”

“It didn't before. But now...” Skids looked at his hands. He felt strangely calm, now as he had finally decided to speak about it.

“Now there's Swerve and your feelings for him.” Rung was smiling. Skids couldn't help but smile, too. It was easy to do so with Swerve once again on his mind.

“Yes. I don't want to disappoint him.”

“Why do you think you would disappoint him?”

Skids huffed. “How can I be with him when I'm so broken? He deserves so much better. He deserves someone strong.”

„You are not broken. There is nothing wrong about how you feel. No matter if it's something you've always felt, or a result of your amnesia,” said Rung. “You are strong, stronger than you think. And you are wrong about Swerve. He deserves someone who cares about him as much as you do; someone who understands him and looks out for him. Someone maybe imperfect, but who loves him truly and deeply.”

Skids snorted. “Your opinion of me is way too high.”

“It's your own opinion of yourself that's too low,” Rung chided. “You really should just talk to him, tell him how you feel. He's your friend, no matter if he feels the same or not, he'll understand.”

 

One evening all by himself was everything Swerve's exhausted processor needed to convince him he couldn't count on anyone to be there for him, even Skids. Swerve hadn't realized it up until that moment, just how low his processor took him. But now there was no turning back. No matter how many times Swerve tried to convince himself, as he was lying curled up on his berth trying to calm his whirling spark, that Skids was his best friend, who was always there for him, it all seemed to be a lie. The only thing probable enough for him to believe, was that he was alone on the ship, with no one to save him from himself and from the whole universe.

By the time Skids came back to their hab suite, Swerve didn't have the courage to talk. So he just stayed silent. He pretended he was already deep in recharge, hoping Skids would just leave him alone.

 

During his next shift Swerve tried to avoid everyone and at the same time desperately wished someone would talk to him. No one did. No one but Skids – after he had woken up, he began happily chattering about everything and nothing, but Swerve just muttered something unintelligible and left the room.

When near the end of his shift, he suddenly collided with one, very worried Rung, he finally broke down. But not immediately. “Rung?” he asked first.

“Yes?”

“Can I talk to you?”

“But of course.” Rung didn't wait for Swerve's answer, just grabbed his hand and pulled the other bot to his office.

When they were finally all alone in the room, Swerve decided he couldn't waste any more time, or he would run away. “Rung, are you my friend?

Rung looked surprised. “Of course I am. Why do you ask?”

“Even after what I did to you?”

Rung's eyebrows twitched, probably at the remembrance of all the pain of that day, but his expression smoothed out quickly. “Even after that.” He stepped closer to Swerve and put a reassuring hand on his arm. “What brought this on?”

“You know, I don't think I really have friends. I mean, I talk to bots, I talk a lot, and I think sometimes, just sometimes, some of them like to listen to me, especially after they had some more engex than they should but...” Swerve wrung his fingers and his cooling fans loudly whirled to life. “I don't think I have any real friends. Ones that think I'm important. There's no one that sees me as their best friend, that wants to spend time with me, that thinks of me first when something happens. I just... I just want to be important to someone. I don't want to be so alone,” he whispered. It sounded odd even to him, for his voice to be so subdued. “This whole Blurr thing... I am so stupid, I can't take it any more, to lie like this. No one even believes it. _I_ don't believe it.”

Rung stared at him, silent. Swerve fidgeted nervously, he just couldn't stay still. Suddenly he felt two arms encircle him and he was pulled against a warm chassis.

“Swerve, you've got real friends. _I_ am your friend. Tailgate likes you a lot. And Skids... He cares about you so much,” said Rung, his voice trembling a little. “So much.”

 

When most bots went to recharge, Skids searched for Swerve all over the Lost Light. He checked the now closed bar, their shared hab suite, as well as Tailgate and Rewind's rooms, and oil reservoir. Swerve was nowhere to be found. Skids was more than worried. He saw something was wrong, as soon as he had woken up, and Swerve refused to talk to him. As his shift progressed, he began to panic – first Tailgate and Rewind came to him to ask about Swerve and his weird attitude, then Rung told him outright he needed to find the minibot and help him. It was all too much for Skids and his lovesick spark. But his shift proved to be especially annoying this time, and so he could go looking at him long after the bar was closed and the corridors desolated.

Finally he decided to go back to the bar. He entered the dark room. It was eerily quiet, so unlike the usual happy banter of the bots getting overcharged. Skids winced as the door fell shut behind him, it sounded too loud. He looked around. There was no one here.

“Swerve, I looked everywhere, are you sure you're not here?” he asked the empty space.

“Yes, I'm sure,” came the muffled reply from behind the bar.

Skids hadn't really realized how worried he was until he heard Swerve's voice and finally all the tension left him. He walked straight to the bar and looked over it, only to find one, miserable-looking Swerve hiding there from the whole universe.

“Swerve, why are you still here?” he asked as he hopped over the bar and sat next to Swerve. “Why didn't you answer when I looked for you earlier?”

“Maybe I didn't want you to find me.” Swerve both sounded and looked like he was about to cry. It broke Skids' spark.

“Swerve, what's going on?” asked Skids. “You've been so distant lately. Especially today. You're not talking to Tailgate and Rewind. Primus, you haven't talked to _me_ in such a long time. What happened?” He looked worriedly at the minibot, who was slouching next to him, his visor worryingly bleak and the usual smile nowhere to be found. “Don't you want to talk to all of us?”

Swerve was silent for some time. Finally he replied, “I want to. I just...” He looked slightly annoyed. “I don't want to talk to you guys because _I_ want to. I want you to talk to me because _you_ want to.”

Skids dimmed his optics as he tried to unscramble Swerve's short speech. There was a lot of 'want' in there. He must have looked rather confused doing that, because Swerve huffed in annoyance and slumped his shoulders some more.

“I just don't want to feel so needy, alright? I want to feel important, see that any of you, really, just _one bot on this ship_ needs me from time to time,” said Swerve, his voice getting louder with every next word.

“Swerve, you are important. You...”

“Oh shut up!” Skids winced. Not because he was loudly interrupted, but because hurt was evident in Swerve's voice. “No one wants to talk to me out of their own free will. They talk to me, you all talk to me because I keep bugging you. I know that, you don't have to lie to me about it!”

“Swerve, I'm not lying,” said Skids. He moved to kneel in front of the other bot and put his hands on Swerve's own, holding them gently. “I came to you now, didn't I?” He rubbed Swerve's hands, hoping it would soothe the other bot. They were big hands for someone Swerve's size, but Skids thought they fit him just right. “And I came because I was worried about you and I missed you. I missed talking to you and hearing you talk.”

Swerve looked slightly convinced, but still distrustful. “You did?” he asked uncertainly.

“Of course!” Skids moved even closer. He was now looming over smaller bot and their faceplates were suddenly right in front of each other, so close they were almost touching. “I was just so used to you always coming to me, I forgot to come to you. You spoiled me,” he teased. “I'm sorry,” he added then, finally closing the distance between them and pressing their helms together.

Skids rubbed his helm against the other bot and let his engines purr contently when he felt Swerve's distressed EM field smooth out. Only for a moment though, because suddenly he felt a curious spike in the other bot's field and then Swerve's lips violently crushed with his.

To say that Skids was shocked would be an understatement. But it would also suggest he wasn't exactly happy with what was going on, which would be a total lie. Because he was enjoying the hell out of it. He decided to show just how much, so he threw his arms around Swerve and pulled him against his chest, not breaking the kiss for one moment. He felt Swerve relax against him, when the minibot realized he was not getting pushed away any time soon. Only then Skids slowed down the kiss and finally moved his lips to Swerve's cheek.

“So does it mean I'm forgiven then?” he asked, smiling cheekily against the warm metal of the other bot's faceplates.

“I don't know yet.” To Skids' relief, at least some of Swerve's usual mirth was back to his voice. “Are you going to keep kissing me?”

Skids chuckled. “Maybe. Do you want me to keep kissing you?”

A pair of hungry minibot lips meeting again with his was the only answer he got, and the only one he really needed.

 

Swerve couldn't stop the silly grin from blooming on his face when he noticed Skids watch him dreamily from across the bar. Swerve had sent him there after numerous bots had complained about Skids distracting the bartender and stopping Swerve from serving them their drinks. It didn't help much though, since Skids simply kept catching Swerve's attention from afar.

Swerve really liked this new state of things. He felt much better now, when he didn't have to hide his attraction to Skids or pretend he thought of him simply as a friend. It was even better, since his attentions were reciprocated. The only bad thing about all of that – no one really seemed to be any surprised about this turn of events, namely Swerve and Skids becoming an official couple. It took Rung only one look at them while he was passing them in the corridor, to come to his own conclusions and to congratulate them; Rewind's visor gleamed as he exclaimed an exasperated “finally”. There were also numerous jokes and catcalls from the bar's regulars and also a satisfied smile from Rodimus, who decided it was a great occasion to try and convince Ultra Magnus to change the name of the ship to Love Light. The request, fortunately, wasn't met with much enthusiasm.

As happy as it made Swerve to see the other bots didn't think it weird that a bot like Skids would choose the bartender for his mate, it also made him a little nervous – they didn't react quite like this about any other couple. Skids though seemed to be proud to be the centre of attention and also, to show off his partner and the new turn their relationship took. Swerve didn't mind all that much. He just wished there was something to be proud of. Because to tell the truth, he wasn't sure there was.

Swerve wasn't sure if it was just how new relationships were supposed to look like, or if it was because it was _his_ relationship, but the thing between him and Skids was surprisingly platonic. Beside the initial kisses they shared behind the bar, there wasn't much romantic touching involved. Sure they hugged and they cuddled, as they decided to recharge on the same berth; Skids kissed him often, but those were mostly kisses planted on the top of his helm or on his hands – Skids seemed to be infatuated with them, as he was always ready to hold them. But despite the passing time they weren't moving any further and it was starting to worry Swerve.

Skids was a very attractive bot. Swerve, and not only Swerve, noticed that and it spurred a lot of hot daydreams that usually ended with the minibot running to the small washroom in his hab suite to take the matters of his tingling interface array in his own hands. When him and Skids got together, he was sure that would end, and his partner would be the one to take care of his arousal. But to his growing worries, things stayed more or less the same. And he couldn't understand why. What's worse, he saw Rewind and Chromedome share quick nuzzles and hold hands, and Tailgate move closer to Cyclonus, until he was comfortably settled in the larger bot's lap. Even Ultra Magnus warmed up to the idea of showing Rodimus his affections in public. And when Ultra Magnus was ready for public displays of affection, your own celibacy hurt twice as much.

Even when your partner stared at you from across the room with so much love and affection in his optics, it almost made your spark explode.

 

Skids fidgeted nervously as he stood outside the medbay. He had come here before, but hadn't even entered, just turned around end left. On the one hand, he hadn't been ready, on the other, he didn't want to see First Aid about it. It wasn't because he didn't trust the other bot, but because the young medic was friends with his Swerve, and so it was better he didn't know about the problem Skids faced now. And so he had come to the medbay again, during the next shift, when Ratchet was bound to be working.

“Are you going to come in, or just stand there like an idiot?” asked Ratchet, who apparently had enough of Skids lurking outside his medbay.

Skids' fans cycled hard in embarrassment. “Yes, yes of course.” He followed Ratchet inside, still nervous, but now at least without a chance to run away again. To his surprise, but also relief, Ratchet led him to the back room, where the patients that needed some more privacy than usual were treated. Skids thought that he probably had all the symptoms of a patient needing some privacy.

When they were finally in the room, Skids had already decided, that the faster he talked about his problem, the better. So he didn't waste any more time. “Rung told me I should talk to you.”

Ratchet sat down behind his desk and mentioned Skids to take the place on the medical berth. Only then he said, “Yes, Rung told me you would be seeking medical advice. He never mentioned what it was about, though.”

Skids felt his spark spinning frantically and he willed it to calm down. “Well, I've got this problem. I... I don't want to interface.”

Ratchet was visibly surprised. But why, was it because Skids didn't look like a bot who didn't want to do that, or Ratchet expected him to have a different kind of a problem, Skids wasn't sure. “You don't want to interface?”

“Maybe I said it wrong. I don't feel the need to interface. With anyone. There are bots pleasing to my optics, but I don't feel any kind of interest towards them. I don't care about it at all. And when I think about interfacing with someone... It just makes me uncomfortable.” He stopped speaking for a click, trying to focus his thoughts again. “And I need to know, is it something I was created with? Or is it a medical problem, or... or some kind of symptom of my amnesia, I don't know. Rung thinks that maybe you could help me, if not make me want to interface again, then at least come to terms with what is going on.” He huffed. “I know him, he seems to already know it's going to be the latter.”

Despite what Skids could've expected, Ratchet chuckled. “Yes, Rung usually knows bots better than they know themselves, it's his job. But despite the medical training he had, he can't say this for sure, only physical examination can do that.” He seemed to consider something for a moment. “But I have to ask, no matter what Rung thinks about it, or what I'm going to find out, which would you prefer it to be?”

“I... I don't really mind being like this, if that's what you ask. It hasn't even been an issue for me, all this time. But now... Now there's a bot I'm interested in and I worry that I'm not going to satisfy him.”

Ratchet smirked. “Don't worry, I'm sure Swerve will love you either way,” he said, and before Skids could say anything, Ratchet continued. “But that's not something we have to worry about now. Now I have to examine you.”

“What?” Skids felt hot all over. “I mean, now? I thought that we're going to make an appointment for some other time...”

“There's no need. I'm not taking care of any bots right now, you are obviously off shift... And because of your amnesia, I don't really need to interview you first, you're obviously not going to tell me anything. So as I said, there's no need to postpone it.”

Skids realized he was twisting his own fingers and tried to keep his hands unmoving on his knees. “Yes, I guess you are right. How are you going to do that?”

“First I need to examine your interface equipment, see if everything's how it's supposed to be down there. Then I'm going to analyse your fuel, to know if it maybe got contaminated in some way, and of course check your processor and the signals it sends to your body parts. If there's anything wrong, then we are going to treat you.”

“And if everything's as it should be?”

“Then I'm sending you back to Rung. And you either find the psychological reason for your lack of arousal, or Rung hopefully helps you accept your condition. But that's something you're going to worry about later, if at all.” Ratchet stood up and approached the berth Skids was sitting on. “Shall we?”

“Y-yes.”

“Then please, lie on your back.” Skids did as he was told and felt his whole body heat up, as he noticed Ratchet adjust the stirrups. He didn't have to be told what to do, he simply moved his peds to rest them there. At that Ratchet slowly moved between his spread legs and pulled over a stool to sit on. “Alright. I need to examine both your spike and your valve. Can you open for me?”

Skids fidgeted in discomfort, but still nodded his head. “Of course,” he mumbled and quickly did as he was told. He tensed up at the first touch of Ratchet's hands to his array. It didn't really help that Ratchet was talking all the time, telling him what he was about to do next, even if it was appreciated that he did. Skids bit his lip and offlined his optics, as he suffered through Ratchet checking his valve and spike for any mechanical damage and tested his reaction. He finally almost lost it when he felt a speculum press against his valve.

“You are doing good, but bear with me for another click, I'm almost finished.” As he felt the instrument slide inside him, he did everything to remember why he was even here, doing that, and how important this medical exam was for him. It helped a little, it helped him distract himself from what was going on between his legs.

Finally Ratchet was finished and he helped Skids sit up. “So...”

“Everything's as it should be. You have all the right parts in all the right places, and they react to the external stimuli just right,” said Ratchet. He once again sat behind the desk and pulled out a datapad to update the information in Skids' medical files.

Skids wasn't sure if he was relieved or worried. It did mean he was healthy, but it also meant, if Swerve wanted to interface, he couldn't give him that. “So it means...”

“That I have to do some more tests.” Ratchet looked straight at him. For a bot most of the crew feared, he had the admirable ability to reassure with a single glance. “Listen, it doesn't mean anything. It seems you are a healthy bot, that's good. I'll check your fuel and processor, as I said before. Maybe there's something wrong, maybe it's all good. It doesn't matter. All that matters is for you to feel good about yourself.”

Skids smiled. “Thank you.”

Ratchet's answer was a smirk. “And before you say anything stupid, I'm sure that, no matter the outcome of this whole situation, Swerve will still love you.”

 

This time Swerve wasn't even surprised when Skids moved away from his searching hands and broke the kiss. He was almost expecting it to happen. What was different however, Skids finally decided to talk about it.

“I... I'm just not ready. I don't know if I'll ever be ready, I mean... I'm so sorry Swerve,” Skids was babbling. He was talking way worse than Swerve usually did. “I'm seeing Rung about this and we're not yet sure if it's something that was always there with me... Or rather something I've never felt or if it's temporary. I've also seen Ratchet about it and everything seems to be working just right, you know. I...”

“Skids! Skids,” Swerve had to stop him. The other bot was overheating because of all the stress, he was also talking faster, louder and with less sense with every next sentence. “It's okay, it is, really. I just want to know,” Swerve thought about his next words for a moment, “is it because of me? Am I not desirable enough?” The mere thought was hurting Swerve so much, he felt his spark go still for a few clicks.

“No, of course not,” said Skids, as he looked at the other bot in surprise. He slowly raised his hand to one chubby cheek and caressed it. “You are so lovely, so perfect, I want to be with you forever. I just... It's...” He huffed in annoyance as he tried to find the right words. Finally he straightened up a bit and looked straight in Swerve's gleaming visor. “You are my best friend. And because of that, as a result of that, I fell in love with you. I trust you and I want to be with you, but I don't need it to be physical. It's something I don't need in general, not because it's you. Do you understand?”

Swerve nodded but he stayed silent for a few clicks. Finally he asked, “Is it going to be permanent? Is fragging something you will never want?”

“Possibly, yes.”

“So we can't even kiss? Or touch?”

“I think kissing is good. And touching, of course it's good to some extent. We can cuddle and hold hands, I don't mind that. Just nothing too... intimate.”

Swerve nodded once again, with much more resolve this time. “Alright. It's good. Alright.” He flared his plating, helping release all the hot air gathered underneath. “Can I kiss you now?”

Skids wasn't sure what kind of kiss it was going to be, but still he said yes. He was pleasantly surprised when Swerve settled in his lap, then put careful hands on both sides of Skids' face and leaned in for a chaste, sweet kiss. It lasted only for a click, then Swerve moved to hug his partner and revved his engines happily, when the hug was returned.

 

Swerve moaned. He tried to muffle it somehow, so Skids wouldn't hear it, but it was hard to do so. Especially when thoughts of his partner got all warm and cozy in his processor once again. Just thinking about Skids got him wet and made the walls of his valve spasm rhythmically around his own fingers. It felt so good. It felt even better when he rubbed the rim of the valve with his thumb and put his other hand on his spike. He was close, so close he wanted to cry. He whimpered instead.

“S-skids...” He thought of the other bot. Skids was there, on the other side of the door, waiting for him in his, or rather their bed. Swerve wanted to touch him so bad. He wanted to run his hands up and down the slick plates of Skids' armour, pinch the tempting cables that he could see just underneath, lick at that lean neck...

Swerve's engines gave an aggressive rev. His hands sped up. He was getting close. Oh so close, and all he could think about as he pleasured himself were the perfect lines of Skids' body, the purring of his engines and his strong hands as they lifted Swerve without any real trouble. It was all too much. His own fingers, along with the perfect picture of Skids reclining on their shared berth was all it took for Swerve to finally overload with a wanton moan leaving his vocalizer.

He sat there for a while, on the floor of their small washroom, trying to calm down. Finally he stood up, quickly cleaned himself and went back to the room, where Skids was waiting for him, exactly the same as Swerve imagined him while pleasuring himself.

He hopped on the berth and snuggled close to his partner.

“I heard you,” said Skids and then kissed Swerve on the top of his helm. “It was a good thing to hear.”

“Weren't you uncomfortable?”

Skids hummed. “No, just listening was good.”

“So you were...”

The content hum turned into a sigh. “No. I'm sorry, but I... I didn't feel any pleasure,” said Skids. “But it wasn't bad,” he added quickly.

Swerve just stayed quiet. Strangely, he didn't feel disappointed. They talked about it many times and Swerve did his best to understand. It seemed he finally managed to do that.

“I like doing this, though.” Skids decided to break the silence once again. “Holding you in my arms, kissing you... I really like kissing you. We fit so good together.” Swerve chuckled. They really did. “But you know, if you really wanted to, I guess I could try... I don't know, maybe...”

“Don't be stupid, Skids.” He looked up at Skids, just to make sure the other saw the annoyance that took over his face. Then he went back to hugging his partner. “You don't have to force yourself for me. Maybe it's not perfect, but I like the way things are right now.” Swerve snuggled closer to Skids. He looked ready to recharge.

Skids smiled at the sight but mostly because of the answer he had heard. “But promise me you will tell me if it changes. If... If it's not enough anymore. If you don't want _me_ anymore” He nudged his partner. “You promise?”

Swerve groaned. He never enjoyed having his recharge, or almost-recharge, interrupted. He probably didn't enjoy Skids' questions, too. “Yeah, I promise,” he croaked finally. And then, when Skids thought he was no longer conscious, quietly added, “But you have to promise the same.”

“Like I could ever stop wanting this,” Skids chuckled. “Wanting _you._ ” He slowly stroked Swerve's backstrut. “But still, I promise.”

 

“You are not visiting me anymore.” Skids smiled at Rung's words, as the scrawny bot sat next to him at the table in Swerve's bar. His words maybe were supposed to hold reproach, but Rung was grinning.

“Sorry about that,” said Skids and took a sip from the glass of energon standing in front of him. “You know, I don't think I need your professional help anymore.”

“I'm glad to hear that.” Rung put a hand on his forearm and squeezed delicately. “But you know I'll be happy to be of help as a friend?”

“Of course I know that, Rung.” He glanced at the minibot running between the tables with a tray full of engex drinks. He couldn't help but smile, he really enjoyed looking at Swerve and it was now better than ever, as he didn't have to pretend he wasn't interested. “It's just so hard to leave him alone for even one click, you know? I want to spend as much time with him as possible.”

“Oh, I understand, you don't have to explain yourself.” Rung chuckled good-naturedly.

Skids looked at him, mischief clearly visible in his optics. “I bet you understand. Admit it, you are happy to have one patient less, this way you have more time to spend with our new captain.”

“W-what?” Rung almost knocked over his glass of energon, as he nervously moved to adjust his glasses.

“Oh come on, you may be the all-knowing psychiatrist, but I'm your friend. So of course even with Swerve distracting me, I've noticed you sneaking out of here after Megatron every single night. And don't even try to convince me he isn't always waiting for you just around the corner.”

“Yes. Yes, he is. Always waiting, I mean.”

Skids grinned so hard, he was sure he looked like a maniac. “Good for you, Eyebrows.”

Rung quickly gulped down the rest of his energon and reset his vocalizer. “How about you Skids, are you sure you are good?”

He didn't have to think about an answer. “Yeah, I'm good. Very good actually,” said Skids, as he went back to watching his partner – he was yelling at Riptide and Nightbeat, who in their attempt to kiss each other senseless, managed to knock over a table and fall on top of Rewind. In their defence, the minibot seemed not to mind all that much as he kept recording everything with a wicked gleam to his visor. Swerve on the other hand was furious. He was in the middle of officially banning them entrance to his bar and swearing he would never again sell them engex. Skids found that absolutely adorable. “You know, I think I should save the guys.”

Rung chuckled. “Yes, you probably should.”

“So, I'll see you later?” He winked at the psychiatrist.

“Make it an appointment.”

“As a friend?”

“Yes, as a friend.”

 


End file.
